Flotsam & Jetsam

Thanks for reminding me to blog Mag. Was a little overwhelmed with school the past few weeks. Not a defendable excuse I know.

Looking through all our blog entries I realise that lately, everybody sounds kinda troubled or pensive even Yiwei who usually writes such funny entries. Why are we plagued with friendship/relationship/self-esteem problems? I take it that as we grow older, we become more introspective. Hence problemsare magnified with our new heightened awareness and sensitivity. Which is not necessarily a good thing. I find myself questioning and thinking too much about my feelings and actions and how others will judge me. But then again, I learn not to care too much about everything. Whatever.

You know Mag, I’m a rather jealous person too. I would like to blame it on being a Virgo but it doesn’t work that way I guess. In TK I was jealous when SX became the CL and all the things she achieved in Guides and I did not. I was jealous when she went out with guys. I was afraid that she would not be my best friend anymore though she was probably more afraid than me haha. That’s why we became so ickily clingy. It’s kinda weird thinking about it now. JC was worse I guess. There were uncountable times when I felt consumed with jealousy when I saw him spending so much time with the odac people. He had a bunch of close friends while I only had him in school. I hate that feeling, it leaves me light headed and I cannot think rationally.

The worse thing is you cannot grow out of it. Am I angry with myself for carrying such negative emotions? You bet. But I’ve accepted that there’s nothing much I can do about it just like there’s nothing I can do about feelings. The ‘mind vs heart ‘ debate will not be resolved anytime soon.

On to happier stuff: I’m feeling slack and relaxed because our 3-week intensive class has just ended!! It was not a happy ending though. Our poor professor fell into a manhole and had to suffer the side effects of anesthesia on top of his injured leg. Break a leg man! I know it sounds like a page out of Tintin comics but after seeing the professor’s pallid face, nobody felt like laughing. So we did not have the last class. For the first time, I actually regretted that class was cancelled. There was no ‘closure’. I will prob never see the prof again since he’s on the other side of the globe nor did I have a chance to say goodbye to my classmates (and the cute Canadian guy! KM don’t roll your eyes). I forgot to add that my class feels like a United World College class cos there’s almost one student from eachcontinent.

“When the cat is out, the mice will play.” My law friends (mice) are popping over tonight for steamboat since my parents (cats) are spa-ing at Bintan. Yea! We do not have mass lectures nowadays so it’s difficult to keep in touch with everybody. That’s why I’m looking forward to tonight and Tuesday when KM and I are going to watch Pretty Persuasion.

Btw, I assume that all of you can come to my party since nobody RSVP. Ok, I EXPECT you guys to turn up! I wish you can come too Mag. I don’t mind getting Dolly for a prezzie!