Having dinner together as a family
The whole family went out for dinner just now. Not some posh fancy restaurant. Just a neat place which serve good food that the whole family can enjoy together. It is rare that we eat as a family – Parents, The Brother and I. And i could tell my mother really enjoyed the dinner, the fact that we could finally dine together as one family.
I felt almost apologetic that my mother could never see the whole family eat together during dinner times, every other day. For one, i would be physically absent because i would spend most of the year in Aussie. And i know full well that time once spent, will never come back. My parents are aging. Time not spent together now, is precious time wasted. But it is just one of the sick harsh realities of modern living.
Anyhow, certain topics got thrown up during our casual family chat. I didn’t realize how much rubbish that i have been spewing out, had not gone unnoticed by my mother. For one, my dissatisfaction with life in Singapore must have been quite evident because i overhead my mother telling my brother not to be influenced by me. When i heard that, i obviously demanded to know what was going on. I certainly did not want to get involve in something that i had no knowledge about.
“…don’t be influenced by your sister,” my mum said sternly.
“What did i do?” i peered up from the novel i was deeply engrossed in, as snippets of their conversation wafted my way.
“Your brother was saying how restricted this country is.”
“It’s true!” I declared, and rattled off a list of limitations straight from the top of my head.
“Is he going to work in Aussie after culinary school?” The thought suddenly occurred to me.
“Hopefully. I want your brother to work in Australia if he has the chance.”
“Then you will migrate to Australia?”
“No, i won’t migrate to Australia,” my brother suddenly piped out.
“I will go to the US,” i said solemnly.
“New Zealand. I will go New Zealand.”
“Yes, New Zealand is a good place,” my mum echoed.
I wisely kept my plans of building and residing in a large farm in New Zealand after retiring from my job as a medical professional when i am 40 or something. My parents, and brother, would have no doubt, just choke on their dinner.
Somehow the topic got steered onto the topic of the future. I refused to be lured into the conversation because there are some things i just don’t share with family. My brother gladly took the limelight. I didn’t even tune in to the conversation, until i heard one sentence my brother proclaimed, that made me nearly gagged on the food i was eating.
“I don’t intend to have children.”
I stared in horror at my dinner. Yes, premature to think about it now, but i was actually pinning hopes that my brother would have children some time in the future so that the pressure would be off me. After all, if The Brother can perpetuate the family line, then there’s no neccessity for me to right? I didn’t even dare risk a glance at the expressions of my parents’ faces. Somehow, i don’t think i like family conversations that much now.
Plus, that day, my father cracked a joke, and i hope to God i was wrong about whatever the hell he was referring to. I must emphasize that it was a joke that my father had cracked in really poor taste. We were in a departmental store when my father called out to me.
“Mag, look at that, it’s hardy! Maybe you should get one, can use in a couple of years’ time,” my dad said and pointed to an object at a distance.
I saw a 4-wheeled object, a stroller?? I didn’t want to take a second look because i didn’t want to entertain my father, and because for God’s sake, if the object i saw wasn’t in my imagination, i was embarassed to death. I just scowled and walked off, my father chuckling. I saw my mother gave him a really dirty look.
Despite the whole incident being a joke, i couldn’t stop the alarm bells from going off inside my head. And that day when my cousins were over, somehow we were onto the topic of suitable marrying age. Apparently 27 is a good time to marry if you are a guy, and probably earlier if you are a girl. And that is really not that far from where i am at the moment. Plus, i also find it a little disconcerting that my parents have NEVER spoken to me about relationships, or the lack of them, for that matter. Maybe they fear that i may indulge in reckless behaviour, and that getting left on the shelf is the lesser of 2 evils as compared to having an unwanted pregnancy. Or horror of horrors, maybe they may become like a friend’s parents, who tried to arrange several rather unsuccessful matchmaking sessions. Now, that would be hilarious.
